House of ZAN Forum

[Grand Master Sef]

Ok, here’s a fun little game that all the wrestling fans need to try out. Think of it as a therapeutic way for us to cope with the terrible programming of the WWE.

The Scenario: You have just purchased World Wrestling Entertainment Corporation. You have complete control over the entire company. Write your very first RAW as owner of the WWE. Anything goes, anyone is game to be hired or fired but you are only writing one episode of RAW. Feel free to explain storylines that you are setting up. For example: I may set up Shawn vs Edge and the winner will go onto the next PPV to get a title shot against Cena. I’m in a huge writing mood for wrestling and not my book so I’m doing this. I can’t wait to see what you guys write.

Here’s mine…

RAW’s begins with the RAW video. The arena is shown after the video and the fans go nuts as the pyro goes off. JR & King are shown and they run down the nights card. They begin by pimping their main even of WWE Champ, John Cena & Randy Orton teaming up in a handicap match against the Great Khali. King says something about how spectacular that will be…when the lights in the arena go out. A moment goes by as nothing happens. JR & King wait quietly. The fans cheer as “Savin’ Me” by Nickelback plays. The Titantron shows many little “winged skull” logos move around the screen as the guitar plays. As the lyrics start video of Bret “Hitman” Hart is shown. Pink lights shine around the black room as a huge spot light is shone on the stage as Bret walks through the curtain. The crowd explodes. King gasps & says “OH MY GOD!”. Bret walks to the ring and poses for the crowd like old school days. Bret is dressed in a black suit with a pink black shirt and a pink tie. The music dies off, the lights come up & Bret stands in the ring with the stick.

The fans go nuts and chant Hitman for a minute or so. Bret smiles and soaks it up. Finally he hushes the crowd and speaks. Bret goes on to give the promo of a lifetime. He talks about how it has been almost 10 years since Vince & the WWE turned their back on him. He says that he has let the whole thing go but that he wants to be clear one thing. That is that he has finally been rewarded for his efforts of standing up to Vince and telling the truth about that night in Montreal. His reward is…the WWE. Bret goes on to tell about how Linda and Vince are getting a divorce. Shane, Stephanie and Linda all put in their shares, bought out Vince’s shares and put the company up for sale. Bret was the first and last bidder. Now…the WWE is owned by Bret Hart. Bret goes on to talk about how the WWE died when the F got out and that today he puts the final nail in the coffin. Bret then announces the WWE is being renamed to the Global Wrestling Organization and that the future of the wrestling industry will be made by this new company.

Vince’s music hits. Vince comes out with his “ghetto” outfit on and the ECW World title around his waist. The fans boo Vince out of the building. Vince yells at Bret telling him that he has no business airing his dirty laundry & that Bret was the worst WWE Champion ever. Bret asks the guys in the back to cut Vince’s mic. Vince stands there like a turd trying to get it to work. Bret gets Vince’s attention and tells him that tonight he will be defending his ECW World title right now….against TOMMY DREAMER! ECW RULES MATCH!

“Man In The Box” by Alice n Chains plays as Tommy runs out through the curtain and beats down Vince with a Singapore cane. Sabu, Sandman and RVD rush out and drag Vince to the ring. Bret stands along the announcers table watching. JR & King goes crazy over what’s going on. [JR & King call the action as they see it since they don’t know whets supposed to happen] Sabu sets up a table and moonsaults onto Vince through the table. Sandman goes his White Russian leg sweep on a chair to Vince. RVD then goes for a 5-Star on Vince. Tommy picks up Vince and hits him with the Spicoli Driver and goes for the pin. 1, 2, 3! NEW ECW World CHAMP…TOMMY F’N DREAMER!!!!

Bret gets on the stick and congratulates Dreamer. Vince lays in the ring out cold. Bret tells Vince that at the GWO’s first PPV, Break-Through a few weeks later, Vince will wrestle a mystery wrestler for a spot on Bret’s Raw roster. [That person being Hulk Hogan, who will beat Vince. Vince will plead Bret for his job so Bret hires him as his personal assistant. Cue Ron Simmons.]

JR & King say they have no clue as to what is going to happen next. Cena comes out to a bunch of boos. Cena talks about how the company is changing and that he will still remain the champ because he…WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLL IT’S THE BIG SHOOOOOOOOW [his ECW music, cuz it rocks.] The crowd flips out. Show laughs at Cena & informs him that tonight the Big Show returns to wrestling. In the Main Event tonight, Big Show is wrestling for the WWE or rather the new GWO World title’s #1 contendership against…….Shawn Michaels! HBK hits the ring and prances around show. Show hands Shawn the stick. Shawn points at Cena & says “Which means…either way, that stupid bling bling belt of yours is HISTORY!” Cena gets pissed as Show & Shawn laugh at him. JR & King are lost.

Rob Conway comes to the ring for his match against….Carlito. The fans go back & forth but love the 20 minute match that puts both guys over. Carlito plays the heel and Conway plays the cocky face. Conway pins Carlito with a roll up through a moonsault off the ropes.

Melina comes to the ring to give a promo about how great she is. Melina explains that Mickie can’t have a Women’s title shot until she loses it which will never happen. Mickie comes out & explains that she doesn’t care but she has a friend who gets a surprise Women’s title match tonight via Bret Hart’s orders. Cue Daffney Unger! Daffney runs to the ring. She and Melina put on a 17 minute match that results in Candice running to the ring and revealing herself in a small bikini that distracts the referee. Mickie throws in the belt to Daffney. Daffney drops Melina on the belt with a Michinoku driver. Daffney pins Melina and is the new GWO Women’s Champ. Mickie & Candice celebrate with her.

Backstage Ric Flair is shown talking to Shawn and Big Show about how he is reforming the 4 Horsemen. Dusty Rhodes shows up and tells Ric that he wants to join. Ric says he’ll think about it. Ric walks on running into Eugene as he is teaching Matt Striker a thing or two about mathematics on his chalk board. Striker asks how Eugene knew that. Eugene says “Actually the name is Nick, Eugene is my middle name. I stopped taking my medication and suddenly…I feel pretty normal.” Ric congratulates Nick. Cue Ron Simmons.

Super Crazy comes to the ring. Kenny Dykstra comes to the ring and explains that tonight he wants to have a little experiment. He goes on to tell of his idea about “the Ultimate” match. Anything goes until someone gets a decision. Kenny says that tonight he looses his lame last name and becomes Ken Doane, the man with the master plan. [I don’t know, some kool gimmick other than the lame boring one he has no…oh right, he doesn’t have one.] The two wrestle all over for about 8 minutes and then Nitro shows up to add to the mess. The two wrestle in the ring for a bit before Viscera hits the ring and everyone beats him up. Then Santino adds himself to the match which causes Super Crazy to grab a mic, yell at everyone and ask Santino for this Ultimate match to become an IC title match. Santino agrees and then Super Crazy says “what? I knew how to speak English this whole time! HA!” Super Crazy goes on to win the new GWO IC title.

Next the Main Event is on. Cena comes out to commentate. He puts himself over as a heel who thinks he can take out anyone Bret Hart can throw at him. Shawn & Show put on a hell of a match. Cena attempts to interfear but Show grabs him, hits the Show Stopper, Shawn drops the elbow on him then Show hits Shawn with the Show Stopper to win the match. [Show goes on to the Break-Through PPV to beat Cena, YAY!] The night ends with Shawn and Show shaking hands. JR & King explaining that the future of the company will be bright.




Ok. That’s just something fun to read when you’re bored. I’m just assuming there are no commercials & stuff really. IF that episode of RAW every happened I may just die from shock!
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[Grand Master Sef]

btw, Wall of Text Crits You for 90372473274840403...you die. I laugh.
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[Prometheus]

Adam crited me for 1 billion from the wall of text.

[Ravage]

My turn:

The show opens up with the sound of Vince's music playing to a chorus of boo's from the audience. As VKM struts his way to the ring, King and JR run down the evening's card. Vince grabs a mike and says that he has two major announcements to make. The first of which he would make now, and the last right before the main event.

Vince pauses for a moment, before announcing that this evening's main event would be a tag team contest, featuring the Great Khali and a mystery opponent against John Cena, and anyone he can find with the guts to step up. With that, Vince shows off his ECW title to the crowd and exits. King and JR ponder about who the mystery partner for Khali could be.

The first match of the evening is a tag match between TWGTT and the Highlanders. There is some good back and forth action, with TWGTT playing the usual heel games. The Highlanders control the early match, but after two back-to-back low blows from Shelton, Charlie locks in the Haas of Pain on Robbie, who taps. After the match, the Hardyz appear on the ramp with mics, and Jeff says it's high time the tag division gets "cleaned up" of all the crap. Matt then says that the Hardyz are just the team to get things straightened out, and next week, they're gonna start with TWGTT.

A backstage promo airs next. It features Ric Flair, talking with Torrie. Torrie is still fretting over the sudden change in Carlito, and Flair is consoling her. Flair says that he hasn't yet finished with Carlito, and then asks Torrie to run and tell Arn to meet him in the locker room.

The next match is a women's match between Candice and Victoria to determine the #1 contender to the women's title. The match starts slow, but Candice's newfound technical skills combined with Victoria's well honed technique pick the match up considerably around the halfway point. However, after chocking Candice on the ropes, Victoria nails the Widow's Peak. Just as the the count occurs, someone runs in and stomps Victoria. It's Jillian Hall! Jillian nails Victoria with a DDT, and then calls for a mike as both women reel in the ring. Jillian claims that her talents have gone to waste on SD, and she's coming to RAW to go for the gold.

Backstage, Mickie James is standing beside Randy Orton. Mickie is wondering why she wasn't involved in the match after all the history she's had with Melina. Orton lifts his eyes above Mickie's considerable chest just long enough to acknoledge she was speaking. Randy shrugs and says "Yeah, Candice is pretty hot, I guess". Mickie, irate, suggests that his time would be better spent trashing a hotel room and she storms off, as Randy watches her leave.

The next match is a singles bout between Carlito and Val Venis. After a good 6 minute matchup, Carlito wins after using the ring bell to clock Val. As Carlito is celebrating his victory, Flair's music plays, and Ric walks out on the ramp. Flair tells Carlito that he hasn't finished with him yet. Just then Arn Anderson comes out of the crowd behind Carlito, and clocks him over the head with the ring bell. Arn and Flair then drag Carlito out of the arena, and we get a video package of them dragging him all the way to the parking lot, where they load him into a Limo and take off.

Next up is Santino, as he makes his way to the ring to defend the IC title. Tonight, he will be facing Viscera! Vis tries his usual boring, slow repetoire, but Santino literally runs circles around him, working his knees and eventually toppling Vis in under 5 minutes, scoring the fall and successful title defense.

Cut to the backstage, where we see Kenny Dykstra watching the match on a monitor. Chris Masters is standing with him, and comments "That little punk is one lucky SOB". Kenny agrees, noting that the only reason he was even where he was is because he's a foreigner. In walks Super-Crazy, who looks at Kenny, gives him an incredulous look, and walks off.

Back to ringside, and VKM's music hits again, and he struts out to the ring. As he gets in the ring, he raises his mic, and starts telling the audience to shut up. He tells everyone that, at long last, he has filled the GM spot that's been vacant on RAW since the departure of Eric Bischoff. The new GM will be...

Coach's music hits as he makes his way to the ring with a confused look on his face. When he gets in the ring, he wonders what Vince is doing, since he hasn't heard anything about this yet, and, as Vince's Executive Assistant, he's entitled to know before everyone else. Vince tells Coach not to worry, that he's got something else planned for him...and introduces the new GM of RAW...

Ted Dibiase! The Million Dollar Man enters the arena to raucus applause. He meets Vince in the ring and shakes his hand. Vince looks mildly irritated as MDM starts to speak. He says that it's his priveledge to accept the position, and Vince won't regret it. With a wink, he adds that Vince definitely won't regret the "generous contribution" MDM made to Vince's "retirement" fund. Vince shrugs an admittance, and he and coach exit. MDM then goes on to lay out his first card for the following week. It will feature the Hardyz vs. TWGTT. If TWGTT wins, they will get a shot at the tag titles at the next PPV. Victoria and Jillian will meet Candice and Mickie in a tag match, Kenny, Chris Masters and Super Crazy will take part in a triple-threat match for the #1 contender for the IC title. With that, MDM says "Welcome to MY Monday Night RAW, HA HA HA!!"

Finally, it's the main event, and John Cena enters the arena. He enters the ring with a mic. He claims that he was going to get HBK to help him, but HBK was too busy washing his dentures. Edge was browsing the local trailer park for a date, and Randy was probably raiding the cleaning cart at the Hilton. Consequently, he was just going to have to go it alone, but he's the champ, and he doesn't back down!

Enter Khali...folks boo. He gets in the ring and gets ready to meet his mystery partner. There is a brief pause, and then Umaga's music hits. Cena stands in the ring, gesturing for him to "bring it". Cena and Umaga start, and Cena is holding strong. After a ref bump from Umaga, however, Khali comes in and the two gang up on Cena. HBK's music hits, as he runs to the ring. After landing Sweet chin music on Umaga, Sean low-blows Khali (with an uppercut ) and lands SCM on him too. With both asses on the mat, HBK grabs a mic and proclaims that if anyone is going to kick Cena's ass, it's going to be him!

Cena gets up, as HBK drops the mic and grabs the mic. Cena states plainly "the CHAMP doesn't need help, the CHAMP can do anything!" Cena then kicks HBK in the gut and lands an FU. The show ends with Cena standing tall in the ring, scowling and lifting his title above his head, while JR and King comment on things to come.


I tried to book this one like a show could actually be booked. I wouldn't like a show where every title changed hands and there was more than one major face/heel change. This show idea leads to alot of longer term-stories, though.
- An eventual feud over who gets to "squash" Santino for the IC title between Kenny and Super Crazy.
- A long term storyline where the Hardyz try to whip the entire tag division into shape, putting more emphasis on tag wrestling, but eventually resulting in them losing the titles to either TWGTT or Cade & Murdoch.
- The entry of Jillian into the Women's division, though not the title picture.
- A very slow build towards the return of the four horsemen, to eventually include Flair, Arn, Carlito and Benoit as a HEEL stable.
- Ted Dibiase as RAW GM...kinda random, but fun.
- Coach will be GM of ECW, where VKM will be spending most of his time, I think this is actually good for the "old school" ECW folks to rebel against.
- Cena turns into an unstoppable heel character, convinced of his own indestructability due to nobody being able to stand against him these last two years. Only a returning Y2J manages to best him

Anywho, that's my take.

[Grand Master Sef]

Not bad Damin. You were a little too realistic for my liking. The point was to do ANYTHING you wanted...not just write the next episode of RAW with the crappy talent thats already there. If that was the exercise then you did a fantastic job. However, my intention was to really shake things up in one episode. Then slow down with long term stuff.
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[Ravage]

Indeed, maybe I missed the point...

However, this actually IS the kind of show I prefer. I don't enjoy too many shake-ups in a single episode. Though I would probably love the fed AFTER the way your episode sets it up, the actual episode you wrote would be too much for me to take in (especially as someone not totally up on Brett, and who the heck is that woman?)

I think both of our ideas would eventually end up in a similar product, though.

[Grand Master Sef]

I agree. Its a big show but it needs to be to shake things up. Together we could make something better I'm sure.

Daffney Unger is awesome! She was in WCW & all she did there was scream. She makes Melina's screams look like a puppy yelp. They call her the Queen of Scream. She's pretty much an indy chick now but she can wrestle so I would hire her the first day.

You may not be up on Bret and in real life Bret would most likely never take the position but man he could make things interesting. The Million Dollar Man is an awesome choice too tho. I just chose Bret cuz it would be the easist to write a story where someone buys Vince's company. Vince would hate Bret owning his company. Bret would put Vince through hell just for entertainments sake. Lol, maybe thats just me who wants to do that.
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